Let me be the first to say that "Just be confident in yourself," is one of the hardest pieces of advice to take in and understand.
So let's get vulnerable. This week was hard guys: homework piled up, new blemishes appeared, comparisons to others controlled the view of myself, and exhaustion over took my emotional control center so much so that by the time I got into the car on Monday night after classes and work, all it took was the door to shut for me to melt into a puddle of tears. "Why am I not good enough?" "Why can't I balance more things?" "Why can't I..?" the list of whys spun around and around.
Thankfully, we have a God who is much more consistent.
There's a few reasons for this melt down. For one, I am human, and because I am human I'm going to fall down and face plant a lot more times than I will ever care to admit. Because I am human, I am going to wake up to bad hair days, new zits, crazy schedules and that's just called life. Sometimes it takes just sitting in the not so pretty as you realize that you're not perfect, and you're never going to have to be. Why?
Because my God takes a look at my bruised knees, messy hair, and over crowded planner and still says every day, "I chose you."
Emotions are hard. They are controlling fickle little things that have the ability to take the "you look good today," comment that you told yourself as you left the house this morning, and turn it into "you don't look nearly as good as her," the second your foot steps out the door and into the real world.
My head went there so many times this week, and every time God would nudge me and say "I didn't design you to be like her, I designed you to be you." (1 Samuel 16: 7)
And STILL there are some days where even my emotions can override the voice of My Creator and say that I am not going to be enough, but we aren't we so lucky because God didn't chose us because we are lovely, we are lovely because he chose us.
Let me say it one more time for the people in the back...
God didn't chose us because we are lovely, we are lovely because He chose us.
Confidence in ourselves isn't the key. Confidence in God is. Confidence that He can and will give us the assurance, hope and boldness that we didn't know we had inside ourselves because we are merely human. Confidence gets hard because to rely on ourselves and our own abilities is to rely on something unreliable. Emotions change, hair days go from bad to worse, but God stays the same.
And that's something you can always be confident in.
To express, explain, and exclaim the lessons life continually throws at me, and my take on how to deal.